Family Life

Family is a critical and important part of French culture. One of my most stunning observations occurred when I realized that most of the time when I see a mother walking with her child on the street or anywhere, that the father is present and involved in the interaction. I pointed this out to my partner, and he was unaware of this because for him, it's completely normal and typical. I explained how in American culture you don't typically see this and that it's usually just the mother who is typically tending to the child. I was also struck by the calmness of the numerous families I have observed randomly and how calm and peaceful the children are as well. I've had countless observations now of French children in restaurants, planes, stores and just walking on the street who are calmly and quietly sitting or walking with their parents or nanny, without the aid of some sort of electronic devise to keep them occupied. I don't see them screaming, tantrumming or demanding their parents' attention every few minutes, and I see the parents as being relaxed and engaged in conversations with their friends at dinner while the child is able to occupy themselves with their surroundings.

Being a child therapist in America who has worked with children and families for the past 10 years and has observed families in my day-to-day life, I believe that American families are completely stressed out and over-anxious. Parents, and particularly mothers, are expected to be super-human and to manage full-time jobs, maintain a household, while presenting to the world a certain standard of life with the big house, car and all the expected gadgets, and all the while keeping completely busy with lots of meaningless activities. American children are completely overstimulated and lack any concept of how to entertain and be with themselves without lots of distractions and electronics to occupy their minds.

I believe a huge reason for this difference lies in my initial observation of the father being present in the family. I understand this is a generalization, but when all the members of a family are present and interacting, it has a much better chance of functioning better. Secondly, I believe the focus on the quality of life of the individual in France is also a strong contributing factor in this difference. By working parents having more vacation time per year, they have more time to relax and spend with their children. Families also eat dinner together each day at a table and talk about their day, rather than watching television or eating in separate areas. This combination of more free time and positive interaction together seems to contribute to a more relaxed culture and a more relaxed family unit.